Caring for aging parents is a significant responsibility, and for many adult children, the challenge is intensified when they live far away from their loved ones. Providing the necessary care, support, and supervision can become a complex juggling act, but with the resources available today, it is more achievable than ever.
Below are some essential tips and strategies to help you care for your aging parents from a distance.
- Get on the Same Page
When caring for an aging parent (or aging parents) from a distance, have a discussion with your parent about their needs/wants and your intentions in helping them. This discussion helps you and your parent get on the same page when it comes to your parent’s health and independence.
Together, you can identify your respective goals – maybe your father’s goal is to maintain his health so he can continue golfing twice weekly and maybe your goal is peace of mind in knowing that he’s taking his blood pressure medication and attending doctor’s appointments.
A discussion with your parent about their care also allows for boundaries to be clearly set. Perhaps your parent doesn’t want cameras monitoring them in their home or a phone app tracking when they leave their home. Learning your parent’s care preferences can help avoid future conflict.
For guidance on how to approach this care conversation with your parent, Verywell Health’s article “Strategies to Make Tough Conversations More Effective” offers great practical advice for how to make the conversation a success.
- Communicate Effectively and Strategically
Communication is key when caring for aging parents from a distance. Here are some tips for maintaining effective communication with your aging parents:
- Regular check-ins: Establish a routine for checking in, whether it's through phone calls, video chats, or messaging apps. The key here is routine. Talk with your parent and agree on a frequency for these check-ins. Scheduling check-ins can help long-distance caregiving feel less haphazard and more manageable. It also can increase the likelihood that you get in contact with your parent if the check-in is scheduled.
- Emergency contacts: Ensure both you and your parent have a list of local emergency contacts and healthcare providers for quick access. It can be helpful to post this somewhere where your parent will see it, like their refrigerator.
- Digital and print calendars: Ensure your parent has a calendar for keeping track of appointments and check-ins. You might then use a shared digital calendar to keep track of your parent’s appointments, medications, and important dates.
- Establish a Support System
Caring for aging parents from a distance often means you can't be there in person to provide care. To bridge the gap, build a strong support system. This may include:
- Local friends and family: Reach out to individuals in your parent's local network who can assist with tasks like grocery shopping, transportation, or companionship, if needed.
- Neighbors and community resources: Explore local resources, such as senior centers or community organizations that can provide assistance or social engagement. Contacting your loved one’s local Area Agency on Aging can be a good place to start.
- Professional caregivers: Explore hiring a home health aide or caregiver to provide in-person support as needed.
Building a support system takes time. It can be good to encourage your parent to maintain and further develop their social network as they age. Consider sharing your perspective on why this would be a good thing to do and working with your parent to identify ways to strengthen their social network.
- Evaluate Home Safety
Prevent problems by ensuring that your parent's living environment is safe and secure. The CDC offers a useful home safety checklist that you and your parent could review together. The list includes items like adding nightlights to illuminate the path from the bed to the bathroom and putting a non-slip mat in the shower.
For added safety and security, you and your parent might consider investing in a home security system or smart home devices like doorbell cameras or window sensors.
- Embrace Remote Health Monitoring
One of the most valuable tools for caring for aging parents from a distance is at-home health monitoring technology. These devices, like the VITAdLS Gateway, allow you to keep a close eye on your aging parent’s health from afar. Some advantages of incorporating this technology into your long-distance caregiving approach include:
- Real-time health data: Stay informed about your parent's health status, including vital signs like blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen levels.
- Early intervention: Low-cost remote monitoring enables early detection of health issues, allowing you to take prompt action or alert healthcare professionals if necessary.
- Peace of mind: Knowing that you can check on your parent's well-being regularly can provide a significant sense of relief and comfort.
- Be Mindful of Your Parent’s Right to Make Decisions
Conflict when caring for aging parents from a distance is virtually inevitable. Disagreement about their care can be difficult, but try to remain patient and empathetic as you perhaps find yourself wanting to “parent your parent.”
Caring for aging parents from a distance is a challenging yet worthy endeavor. By embracing technology, building a strong support system, and implementing effective communication and planning, you can ensure that your parents receive the care and attention they deserve.
With the right strategies and tools in place, you can provide loving, comprehensive care for your aging parents, no matter the physical distance that separates you.
Important: This post is for informational and educational purposes only. This post should not be taken as medical or legal advice or be used as a substitute for such. You should always consult with your own medical and/or legal services provider before implementing this information on your own. Thank you!